I didn’t read your whole story but I couldn’t help getting choked up reading this one. I admit in the past I’ve been a judgmental person with others who are unfaithful because my mom had an affair when I was young and it broke my dad into pieces and it shaped my idea of loyal and faithfulness.
Fast forward to life after marriage and kids (so hard!) and a close friend told me of an affair she was having. My judgy mind went right to work. Though after some time I started to open my eyes to her life and her husband, who I love, though he was not there for her emotionally, he suffered debilitating mental Illness and she had to take care of him. I started to have compassion for her realizing that this is her life and raising two young children like a single mom, I truly have no place for judgement. She desperately needed comfort and love. It taught me a lot about what sometimes people need to get through difficult times. I have learned to be non judge mental with others including your story. You are lucky to have a wonderful husband and that you two could pull through your difficult time and I truly wish you all the best❤️
…congratulations…a fairytale ending of sorts in that everything was absolutely real…the magic for you both was the acceptance of reality and your choices…i guess maybe that makes it an anti fairytale but the result is the happily ever after all those endings leave us out on…powerful series so much honesty…now imagine the stories you both can write together from here…
It is almost an anti fairytale. I feel bad about how it unfolded and as cliché as it sounds, it really did make us what we are today and made me who I am. Once you've received unconditional love, your self worth improves so much. You start to love yourself if someone else can love the messed up person you are.
yeah i guess it is like an anti-fairytale that lands on the happily ever after ending regardless -- all roads pointing at rainbows -- great read -- ty!
I’m happier after owning this. Lies get very heavy to carry around. Equally happy to call you my friend! ❤️ appreciate the support. Back to a draft now about almost dying! Happier stuff 🤣
I really don’t think anyone can actually know until it happens. I used to think constantly if I could forgive something like that and I’m just not sure. I’m thankful he stuck with me.
I loved this whole series of essays, and the ending was the best part. 👏👏 Good for you both, and good for the world around you at the partnership and love you have and can give to others because of it all.
Good story. I wouldn't have stayed, but then again I would never have married somebody with so much baggage. Somebody has to though I guess. I am glad it worked out for you both. Your husband is a gracious man.
I don't blame you at all. I think for most people, ending a relationship like this would be best. To be fair, when I got married at 23, I had zero baggage. I picked that up right after. I was young and dumb and thankfully was given an opportunity to prove myself. Thank you so much for reading!
Was trying not to comment after reading the whole series as this last piece actually lost me, when the others had me more empathetic toward you…but why did you get married at 23 if it was such a young age as you keep highlighting, and you weren’t ready and not mature enough etc etc? Women mature faster than men, and at 23 you were probably as mature as like a 28 year old man; so not a child by any means when making that decision.
Even at 23 for a woman, your brain isn't developed fully. I got married because it felt right. I didn't know yet what the world had to offer. My husband was the only other long term relationship besides a boyfriend I had from the senior year in high school until after college. My husband was fully ready for marriage and I couldn't imagine saying no to his proposal. I thought at the time that no one is fully ready for marriage and I would get there. But the opposite happened. I freaked out. Low self esteem, body image issues, raging bipolar, combined with drugs, alcohol, lying, and emotional manipulation lead to this. I was extremely mature my entire life and the fear of not living to the fullest pushed me back so at 23, I was acting 18 because I didn't when I was 18 or in college.
this has all been an incredible if heartbreaking read.
had i not known already it was all gunna work out, i'm not sure i could have gotten through it(i still haven't watched the last of the before trilogy haha)
you've a great man on your arm, and i'm delighted to say that <3
What a great ending. I love the wedding photos throughout. I'm so happy you guys made it through that together, better than ever ❤️
Thank you for reading!!! I feel good wrapping this up and I am excited to work on much different drafts.
Wow. What a story. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thanks for reading!
I didn’t read your whole story but I couldn’t help getting choked up reading this one. I admit in the past I’ve been a judgmental person with others who are unfaithful because my mom had an affair when I was young and it broke my dad into pieces and it shaped my idea of loyal and faithfulness.
Fast forward to life after marriage and kids (so hard!) and a close friend told me of an affair she was having. My judgy mind went right to work. Though after some time I started to open my eyes to her life and her husband, who I love, though he was not there for her emotionally, he suffered debilitating mental Illness and she had to take care of him. I started to have compassion for her realizing that this is her life and raising two young children like a single mom, I truly have no place for judgement. She desperately needed comfort and love. It taught me a lot about what sometimes people need to get through difficult times. I have learned to be non judge mental with others including your story. You are lucky to have a wonderful husband and that you two could pull through your difficult time and I truly wish you all the best❤️
That's the power of love.
Everyone has a limited constitution, and some love is considerably greater than the human capacity to contain it. It actually hurts to try.
…congratulations…a fairytale ending of sorts in that everything was absolutely real…the magic for you both was the acceptance of reality and your choices…i guess maybe that makes it an anti fairytale but the result is the happily ever after all those endings leave us out on…powerful series so much honesty…now imagine the stories you both can write together from here…
It is almost an anti fairytale. I feel bad about how it unfolded and as cliché as it sounds, it really did make us what we are today and made me who I am. Once you've received unconditional love, your self worth improves so much. You start to love yourself if someone else can love the messed up person you are.
yeah i guess it is like an anti-fairytale that lands on the happily ever after ending regardless -- all roads pointing at rainbows -- great read -- ty!
What a roller coaster of a series. You are truly one of the bravest people I know. So glad to call you my friend.
I’m happier after owning this. Lies get very heavy to carry around. Equally happy to call you my friend! ❤️ appreciate the support. Back to a draft now about almost dying! Happier stuff 🤣
There is so much wisdom here! I’d like to think I would have behaved like your husband, but I was never put to that kind of test.
What a great “ending”!
I really don’t think anyone can actually know until it happens. I used to think constantly if I could forgive something like that and I’m just not sure. I’m thankful he stuck with me.
I loved this whole series of essays, and the ending was the best part. 👏👏 Good for you both, and good for the world around you at the partnership and love you have and can give to others because of it all.
Thank you for reading them. I appreciate all the support. Next I should pressure law makers to raise the legal age of marriage to 25. Ha!
Love this!
Goddamn it you guys have to stop making me the girl on the train crying before work. Thank the gods it’s nyc so no one cares.
What a remarkable love you two share.
Thank you for reading! Hard stuff to write and take full ownership, but glad I did. Now I am excited to write about different stuff.
This was quite a journey. Glad you guys are doing well.
Good story. I wouldn't have stayed, but then again I would never have married somebody with so much baggage. Somebody has to though I guess. I am glad it worked out for you both. Your husband is a gracious man.
I don't blame you at all. I think for most people, ending a relationship like this would be best. To be fair, when I got married at 23, I had zero baggage. I picked that up right after. I was young and dumb and thankfully was given an opportunity to prove myself. Thank you so much for reading!
Was trying not to comment after reading the whole series as this last piece actually lost me, when the others had me more empathetic toward you…but why did you get married at 23 if it was such a young age as you keep highlighting, and you weren’t ready and not mature enough etc etc? Women mature faster than men, and at 23 you were probably as mature as like a 28 year old man; so not a child by any means when making that decision.
Even at 23 for a woman, your brain isn't developed fully. I got married because it felt right. I didn't know yet what the world had to offer. My husband was the only other long term relationship besides a boyfriend I had from the senior year in high school until after college. My husband was fully ready for marriage and I couldn't imagine saying no to his proposal. I thought at the time that no one is fully ready for marriage and I would get there. But the opposite happened. I freaked out. Low self esteem, body image issues, raging bipolar, combined with drugs, alcohol, lying, and emotional manipulation lead to this. I was extremely mature my entire life and the fear of not living to the fullest pushed me back so at 23, I was acting 18 because I didn't when I was 18 or in college.
Fair enough - that makes sense.
this has all been an incredible if heartbreaking read.
had i not known already it was all gunna work out, i'm not sure i could have gotten through it(i still haven't watched the last of the before trilogy haha)
you've a great man on your arm, and i'm delighted to say that <3