Statute of Limitations: Mail Theft
5 years or 10 years if it involves a financial institution
After careful checking the statute of limitations, I am clear to tell this story. This event came to mind as my parents have sold and are currently moving out of my childhood home, leaving behind the neighborhood I loved so much. Helping them pack up this past weekend, we laughed about this story.
My mom was running for public office. One morning when I got up to walk my dog before school, (yes, I walked my beagle everyday before middle school) all I could see down the whole street were these orange pieces of paper. Some blowing around and some connected to or inside mailboxes.
I picked one of them up…it was an entire page about my mom and her campaign.
One of her opponents produced a document with lies about her and what she was running for. Seriously, flat out lies. Libel in fact. One part said that if she cared about education and families, she’d be home with her kids and not working full time in corporate America. I was so pissed. My mom cared so much, not just about her own kids, but all kids. Full of rage, I walked every block, triple my normal dog walk. I collected every sheet of paper I could find, including opening mailboxes and stealing them.
I made one stop by my house to drop off all that I had and went back out in the opposite direction to get more. I collected close to 150 sheets of paper. I crumpled up most of them and was shoving them down into a bag. I laid them all out on our dining room table, just as my mom was getting out of bed for work. I said “Look mom. Look at this crap”
“Where did you get those?”
“All over the neighborhood this morning on my walk. They were on the streets, tied to mailboxes and some inside mailboxes”
“You opened mailboxes to get those?”
“Yes”
“Kerry, that’s illegal”
“But it’s also illegal for them to place the material INSIDE the mailbox”1
“You tell no one about this. Nothing. Not a word. If you ever commit crimes in the future, tell no one of those either.”2
I am proud of my actions. If the literature would have presented counterpoints to real arguments, I would have left them. But they used swear words, misquoted her, and here’s the kicker - they used her campaign photos, including our family photo on this trash. That felt way too personal to let slide. DO NOT FUCK WITH MY FAMILY.
My mom won that election and several others after that. I share this story now because she is no longer an elected official and the man that put out these fliers is dead (RIP). I will never forget walking the dozens of blocks that morning. I have not committed any mail theft since or maybe I have, but I wouldn’t tell you about it or any other crimes.
I knew this because I had canvased neighborhoods before, campaigning for my mom and leaving literature where it was lawful.
My mom grew up in a rough neighborhood and taught us to have street smarts. I remember her saying once that people only get caught doing crimes because they brag and someone rats them out. I also laugh that she never told me NOT to commit crimes, just not to talk about them.
-“You tell no one about this. Nothing. Not a word. If you ever commit crimes in the future, tell no one of those either.”
Smart mom!
This is great!! I’d have done the same thing. Also, I totally get this. My best friend was running for office (she won) and I was a part of one of her promo photo shoots.. and my pic showed up in a lot of surprising places! And the stuff the other side made up about her was gross.